Millions of children long to hear each day those wonderful words Class dismissed. However, different children respond to those words differently. Most students learn fairly quickly that when the teacher dismisses them that they need to check their homework, put the right books in their backpack, make sure they have the materials they need, straighten up the desk and possibly put up their chair and then leave. But the ADD child responds to Class dismissed by bolting out the door leaving homework, books, materials, jacket, backpack, etc. behind. Why Punish them for things they can't control?
Our pleadings, scoldings, groundings, and bribings fail to create a long term solution. What can we do to help our child be successful?
This is only one example of a much larger pattern common to ADD. The reason for this behavior is not to avoid homework, it is not to make us mad, it not deliberate. ADD people struggle with thinking and acting at the same time. They just do. They just do the one response that comes to their mind and usually the one that brings the most immediate pleasure.
This also explains why when you tell your little angel to hang up her jacket, get out her homework, get a snack from the refridgerator, and settle down to do homework, she will get a snack and not do the rest. You will probably find her in front of the TV enjoying her treat. Would this make you mad, if so know the syptoms, so you can be part of the sloution not the problem!
What can we do to help our child be successful?
One important principle for training successful habits for ADD children is:
Separate the Thinking from the Doing. Often at the moment of action, ADD people have a hard time thinking in steps; therefore, steps are often missed. I suffer still from this problem as an ADDult. I compensate by a process I call Plan, Do and Review. I try to make sure there is a goal in each step, I stop and think is this correct, if not why and I continue to do this step by step and it really helps.
When I need to do something, and since I don't think and act at the same time; the best thing for me to do is sit down and write out the steps ahead of time. Then I have follow the list. By following the list, I get it done and if I am distracted, I know where to go to find out what to do next. Before I finish, I check the list to make sure I did all of the steps.
The same process can be followed when helping your child be successful. By sitting down ahead of time, prompting them to write out the necessary steps, and impressing on them to follow the list; you reduce the multi-step activity to one action.
As an example, when the teacher says Class dismissed, your child will open up their binder to find the list posted on the inside cover.
1. Do you have your homework written down into your calendar? 2. Do you have the books you need for that homework? 3. Do you have the homework paper? 4. Do you have the supplies that you need for the homework?...
If they follow the list, they succeed.
I know, how in the world are we going to make sure the list is followed?
ADD people lose concentration by definition, they need ways to remind themselves what they should do next. Plan, do and review can be a very powerful tool once added to the goals and rewarding yourself for each step, this reinfources us too this step as positive.
Listed below are the steps of Plan, Do and Review. Plan
1. Determine the necessary steps in order. 2. Determin the necessary items. 3. Determine a reasonable time per task
Do
1. Follow plan consistently 2. Monitor each step 3. Celebrate completion
Review
1. Check for completeness 2. Check for accuracy/quality 3. Evaluate and revise plan
By separating the thinking from the doing, especially for routine tasks, you can help your ADD child succeed in life.
Athur Buchanan, A Hyperactive Writer and Speaker, is the author of ADAD and ME and he speaks nationally to parents, teachers and others emphasizing the hope of success for fellow ADDers. You may visit his website at http://www.ADHDandME.com or send any comments to arthur@out-of-darkness.com. Please take the time check out his book, It's great!
About the Author
Listen to Arthur Buchanan on the Mike Litman Show!