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Well Darlings,

I must be working too hard. I fell asleep during Question Time and since then have been trying to think of a fitting: "He who burns the candle at both ends . . ." adage, but the only one I've come up with could not possibly be recalled here. Nevertheless I was awake long enough to hear Charles Kennedy being asked about his political future by a member of the audience, to which he replied: "Who knows? The only thing we can all be sure about in politics is you are as well to expect the unexpected." Pushed further, as to whether the Lib-Dems might someday again see him as their party leader, he declined to give a straight answer.

Readers will remember that Charles stepped down from being the Liberal Democrat leader in January - just two days after he publicly admitted he was an alcoholic - and that after a hard-fought leadership election he was succeeded by his deputy Sir Menzies Campbell. It was a messy leadership battle that claimed the immediate political aspirations of Winchester's MP, Mark Oaten, when his affair with a rent boy was exposed, and one which also led to Simon Hughes finally "coming out", despite his many earlier and repeated denials that he was gay. The latter revelation was seen by some to make Simon a hypocrite because of his involvement in the Bermondsey by-election battle way back in 1983 when his Labour opponent, Peter Tatchell, was all but crucified for being homosexual.

Oh yes, I remember it well! In those days many of us were mystified by Simon's actions - by playing it straight, who the hell did Sally think she was deceiving? Certainly not us! But it appears that Peter, now a member of the Green Party, has forgiven Simon for all the nastiness of that time, even going so far as to back him in that leadership challenge - something many Lib-Dems weren't prepared to do following the deception.

But what of Charles Kennedy - could he become leader again? I don't think so. He may have the spirit for it - but there, in that word, lies the trouble. Once an alcoholic; always an alcoholic. There is still no cure for the condition, only treatment - a way to cope with it and survive. Although he could be "dry" for many, many years, and could be commended for that, the threat of a relapse occurring at any time will never leave him - and that is something nobody could tolerate of a political party leader, no matter how slim their chance of becoming the country's Prime Minister.

Charles Kennedy is a good and honourable man; one with much still to offer the Lib-Dems - but he must do that with his finger on the pulse, and never on the button. Which brings me to Gordon Brown and his recent statement that he will keep and renew Britain's independent (?!) nuclear deterrent. What was all that about? This subject is usually taboo in the Labour Party. It's a very hot potato. Whilst they may not want our nuclear capability, they are often forced to accept that we do need to keep it - and they prefer not to talk about the subject lest it open up wounds. So why did Gordon Brown almost "blurt" out his intentions? I didn't see that they were called for, to me they came out of the blue and were hardly likely to help the man's cause, so I'm still trying to work that one out. No doubt it was a tactical move and not some error of judgement - but for what reason? Answers on a postcard please - with my reputation, I open no letters!

It seems to me that our Sun newspaper, if you will allow me to call it that, never misses a chance to prove just how hysterically homophobic it can be. Did you all catch their feature entitled: "Gay Sex Art Gets Tax Cash" at the beginning of the week? To me this article completely ignored the fact that gay people pay taxes too - and often more so than straight people as research has shown we are, on the whole, more highly paid. I saw the story as being written with the intention of provoking a public outrage at an apparent misuse of public money.

But is anybody surprised that the Sun once again got their facts wrong? Or that they haven't printed an apology? Contrary to their article, the Architecture Foundation, which hosted the exhibition, is not funded by the National Lottery and the event, which cost a mere £800 to put on, was not funded out of their Arts Council grant. When it comes to news - that rhymes with views; when it comes to facts - that rhymes with lacks; and when it comes to sun - that rhymes with none. Do you believe in coincidences?

As I write this the EuroPride Festival (16th - 30th June) being held in London this year is about half-way through, with the big Saturday, EuroPride Day, still to come on July 1st. The festival is said to be going well, and the big Saturday promises to be exceptional - but will still be unlikely to match the estimated 2.4 million people who took to the streets of Sao Paulo recently to celebrate the Brazilian city's 10th annual Gay Pride. According to the organisers it's the largest Pride attendance in the world, and I haven't heard anyone arguing that point. Their first Pride, a decade ago, only attracted some 2,000 people.

Blackpool's first Pride, in May this year, was a resounding success too, and it attracted around 6,000 people despite the inclement weather. It was a good number for a first event, and one which will no doubt grow substantially in the coming years. Yes, the good news is Blackpool Pride is back in 2007 and it's likely to become an annual event. Next year it should be bigger and even better as negotiations are already underway in the hope of securing a later weekend in the year for the celebration. May is perhaps a little too early to expect good weather and large attendances. But now we have a goal, don't we? If Sao Paulo can go from 2,000 to 2.4 million in ten years, then what numbers should we be aiming for in ten years with a 6,000 start? I know: it's wishful thinking; just a dream - but what a dream! No, sadly we could never really have that number here on our streets, could we? It would leave no room for the parking attendants!

Last Monday, courtesy of Basil Newby, Funny Girls was host to Blackpool's Post-Pride Party where all those involved, or who supported the event, were treated to a champagne reception, a show, and an excellent free buffet. It was a brilliant night where there were awards given to those involved in the organisation and smooth running of Pride 2006, and where the fundraising for Pride 2007 was launched by holding a successful auction. Several acts appeared (all for free), including Roxy who was as ever notable, and the whole show was expertly compered by Zoe (as ever, too - we only have the best in Blackpool!), who made much of the fact that her spotlight had failed. One act that went down extremely well, and left the audience screaming for more, was the well known drag artiste: Kitty Litter. Later on I particularly liked it when the police, on receiving their award, told us they didn't normally line-dance along the prom - to which someone in the audience remarked: "Well, not sober, anyway!" Priceless!

Although, as I've said, it was a brilliant night, and I thank them sincerely for my invitation - it was much appreciated, I would not be the Bitch you expect me to be were I not to mention that its organisation didn't match the standard of that of the actual Pride event. Parties of guests were being sent to all the wrong destinations, there were more people expecting to be seated than they had seats for them, and at one point no less than His Worship the Mayor was stood with the rest of us on the doorstep with the milk bottles waiting to be invited in. But we forgive them - it was a marvellous affair!

Finally, I'll leave you with something I find truly horrific. Home Office figures show the use of weapons in all types of violent crime is increasing. Even more alarmingly, a survey by Oxfam, Amnesty International, and the International Action Network on Small Arms tells us that more than one in ten Britons have been affected by gun crime or know someone else who has been in the past five years, and that one in six people have seen a gun that they understood to be illegal. And then there are the knives . . . And then there are the terrorists . . .

Don't let anybody try to tell me that crime is no worse today than it was yesterday - or that it's only my "perception" of crime that's suggesting it is!

In my youth I often used guns, I had a lot of fun with them and I became quite a marksman, but I learned to respect them, along with learning to respect people and property. Where did I do all this? I did it at school! Our school, like many, many schools at that time had a cadet force where one chose to be in the army, navy, or air force cadets. Hello, sailor! I chose the navy - what else? We had our own armoury and rifle range, we did training twice a week, we went on field trips, and there was an annual camp to look forward to. It was great fun, the best, but more than that it was character building. What a pity there are so few cadet organisations aligned with our schools today!

My point? If you'd have asked us about illegal guns then, we wouldn't have known what you were talking about. Ask a kid today and the chances are they'll know someone who could sell you one. We all enter this world knowing absolutely nothing. We can only become the sum of what it is we learn. So what the hell has modern society been teaching our children?

See you next week . . .

"The Bitch!" 23/06/06.

"The Bitch!", a weekly UK News Review column, is hosted by the author and columnist Michael Knell. These articles appear on the Blackpool Gay Directory website, but are not specifically gay in content. More information on the author: http://www.michaelknell.com and on the directory: http://www.astabgay.com.