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Mr. Clean packs heat.

The Magic Eraser.

Endorsed by Ping Laboratories as the ''next wonder product'', the melamine foam pad scrubs away the nastiest mess. Moisten, rub, and voila. Microscopic polymers search and destroy. Grime is erased.

Magically.

What I would give for political magic eraser.

Imagine ''spring cleaning'' back to the Clinton days. Back to the politics of progress. Remember those days? Economic expansion. Higher incomes for Americans. Decline in poverty, welfare reform. Unprecedented surplus. Public school investment and expanded health care for kids. World peace. (J. Armstrong & M. Zunig. Crashing the Gate. 2006).

Let's erase the George W. Bush legacy. The entire kit and caboodle. And why stop with George? Let's erase his brother, Jeb, too. One rub with the Magic Eraser and Florida returns back to Paradise Lost.

Nah. Too easy. Too predictable.

Let's erase a real challenge. A real scuffmark.

Let's erase Ann Coulter.

In Coulter's new book ''Godless: The Church of Liberalism.'' the self-proclaimed pundit chastised four 9/11 widows, spewing forth, ''I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' deaths so much.'' She further wrote the four women were ''reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief-arazzis.'' (NewsMax.com, June 10, 2006).

Such vile words generated from that Cornell-educated blonde brain calls for partial micropolymer lobotomy. Erase.

On June 6, Ms. Coulter snake-oiled her book on NBC's The Today Show. The now infamous conversation with host Matt Lauer began as a civil debate, but soon turned ugly with his last question, again concerning the 9/11 widows, who ultimately campaigned for John Kerry. Coulter calls the ladies the''witches of East Brunswick,'' describing them as Democratic Party pawns sent out onto the political stage because of their victim status, as ''messengers whom we're not allowed to reply to,'' let alone criticize.

In other words, the same tactic W. used when using 9/11 as a springboard for war. Americans against the war were initially made to appear unpatriotic and unsupportive of 9/11 families.

Mr. Lauer read Ms. Coulter's words: ''These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief-arazzis. I have never seen people enjoying their husband's death so much.''

As Ms. Coulter furthered explained ''the left's doctrine of liberal infallibility,'' Mr. Lauer hammered away, until she interjected: ''Look, you're getting testy with me!'' (George Gurley, June 2006).

Erase that nasty mouth.

Conservatives got in on the 9/11 spanking. Bill O'Reilly called her ''over the top.'' Andrew Sullivan ran eight Coulter items on his blog, calling her ''a drag-queen-fascist-impersonator.'' (George Gurley, June 2006).

Sullivan's comment lends me to the final erasure of the day.

Ann.

Buy yourself a Magic Eraser.

Erase about 6 inches off your stringy hair.

Magically.

About the Author

Sharon Wilson is a freelance witer. Ms. Wilson rants and raves via her political blog, Smashed Frog, http://smashedfrog.blogspot.com. Get Smashed! Join the online discussion regarding the absurdities of government.