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If you've ever had the honour of being best man, you know that just "winging it" isn't the answer.

Why is it that a number of people have a fear of Public Speaking, even though it's only in front of their family and friends. The only way to control that fear is to be in control and prepared.

1)Preparation: Write down the thoughts you've had towards the bride and groom over the years. Any stories that involve both of them? Keeping it personal and not embarassing is the way to go, not too embarassing anyway.

2)Start off by introducing yourself, as not everyone in the room might know you. You might say "Everyone, could I have your attention please. I'd just like to take a few moments to say a few words about our bride and groom. I'm (you), (the grooms name here) best man and longtime good friend (or brother, son, etc.)" To get people's attention, you might want to tell everyone a quick joke about growing up with the groom. Don't talk for too long, you don't want to upstage the bride and groom. It's their day remember. Before you get too far into your speech, you should thank the people hosting, traditionally the parents of the bride. If the bride and groom are paying for the wedding themselves, simply say, "We all wish you a life time of happiness."

3)Now this is the time that being prepared comes in handy. Tell a funny story about the bride and groom (note I said "funny" not humiliating!), give your thoughts on love and marriage, tell the story of how they met, or talk about how you've seen them change through their relationship. While you may know the groom better, try to make your toast balanced, speaking about each of them. For example (groom) and (bride) truly bring out the best in each other, encouraging each other's strengths, helping each other through the good and the bad times, and supporting each other on always. Try not to talk too long as nobody wants to hear you ramble, but do give some humourous/sincere details. What ever you do though, avoid ex-girlfriend stories, believe me nobody wants to know and also keep it rated PG for granny and the children! Most of all, it always sounds better when you are sincere, and your words come from the heart, it's hard to go wrong.

4)It's often good to wrap up your toast with a wish, traditional toast, or blessing for the bride and groom. And now it you would all raise your glass to the happy couple, cheers, and don't forget to drink to your own toast!

Now its time to enjoy the rest of the wedding!

NB Don't drink too much before the toast!

But if you really need help TRY THIS

About the Author

Adam Matai is a former "best man", who's brother won't be asking him to be best man ever again. That is, of course if his brother (who is happily married) divorces and decides to re-marry.