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Well Darlings,

The hot weather stayed for another week, I see. Blackpool has sweltered in the heat, and a walk along the prom must have reminded many locals of: "the good old days" when they saw the crowded beaches with so many kids making sandcastles and people splashing about in the sea. The sun has certainly enhanced some of the sights to be seen around the resort too, as thousands of gorgeous hunks and cuties have been parading around the town in clothing leaving little to the imagination.

Unfortunately all this good weather has been a bit of a two-edged sword: we have also been obliged to witness far too many of those with chip-butty bellies and buttocks (US: lardarses) waddling about the place. That which may have had you wary as it struggled and fought under the straining denim jeans, now exposed can be positively terrifying, believe me! Nevertheless, with global warming, and changing climates, such hot weather might soon become more common - and we might be grateful for that shade one day! There's one or two I've got my eye on already for if the sun becomes too unbearable. Strategically placed, I'm quite confident a full solar eclipse could be achieved!

Political correctness? Sweeties, that went out the window the instant those buttocks escaped the jeans!

Which brings me to wonder when John Prescott's political correctness escaped him. The Standards and Privileges Committee have decided that Mr Prescott DID fail in his duty as an MP by not immediately declaring his stay at the ranch of United States billionaire, Philip Anschutz - a man bidding to open a super-casino at the London's Millennium Dome. The findings also said Prescott had effectively admitted breaking the Ministerial Code by accepting hospitality that "might reasonably have been thought likely" to influence his actions.

Nonetheless for being found guilty, Downing Street (which has the sole responsibility for policing the rules) says it will not be taking any action, and it considers the matter closed. Mr Prescott says he has "fully accepted" the report's findings, yet immediately contradicts that by saying he still believes there is "no case to answer". And the Prime Minister's official spokesman tells us the problem has been resolved because the Deputy Prime Minister has now registered both the stay and the gifts!

Yeah, like eleven months later, and then only after being caught out! If political injudiciousness can be put right that easily, then nobody is ever going to fall foul of the system and lose their job, are they? I wonder how many business people being hauled up in front of the tax man this week will wish they could declare something from that long ago as easily and escape justice?

How does all this affect Blackpool's bid for the super-casino? Well, some feel that now so much has come out linking Prescott to the US billionaire (7 meetings, and another in the pipe-line) and with casinos (officially - but quietly - visiting Australia's Sydney Star City Casino) that the government wouldn't dare give the licence to the Millennium Dome. Others think they know the government better than that, and they cite the "no action to be taken against Prescott" as proof that the whole selection thing is a sham, the deal has already been done, and they are going to face it out - just like they did over the reasons for going to war with Iraq. I have to say: I feel that, on past form, the latter would not come as a surprise to many people.

New Labour came to power to the realms of: "Things Can Only Get Better". So why is it that today more and more of the electorate are dancing to the first few lines of Kelly Marie's hit? "My head is in a spin, My feet don't touch the ground, Because you're near to me, My head goes round and round . . ."

Dictionary: Spin - a system of wringing out to dry. Yep, that sounds about right!

I see also going at 1,500 rpm is Gordon Brown's Budget pledge to raise public spending on state schools in line with private schools. The Institute for Fiscal Studies tells us that Mr Brown's claim that the Government is pumping £34 billion of "new" investment into education is not born out by the figures. Quite to the contrary: the level of investment in capital funding for schools is set to slow significantly in the next few years.

And in our wonderfully well managed economy, the one that robs the poor to feed the rich - ask the pensioners, the latest figures reveal that, with the likely rise in interest rates, housing affordability is set to plunge to its worst level for 15 years by the end of 2006. A typical home buyer will have to spend about half of their salary on interest repayments alone - 49.78% to be exact - and that's the highest level since 1991.

More bad news, especially for those looking to buy in the capital, is that despite government policies the Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors report the gap between house prices in London and the rest of the country is now at the largest ever recorded. We're told London and the South East recorded the sharpest house price rises in six and a half and four years respectively.

And I see an all party committee of peers have criticised the meetings between former Home Secretary Charles Clarke and ministers from the other largest EU states. In March 2006 the G6 Ministers discussed their joint response to terrorism, illegal immigration and organised crime - three things close to many a person's heart - and although important decisions were reached no report was made to Parliament, or any publicity issued by the Home Office.

Lord Wright of Richmond, Chairman of the Committee, is reported as saying: "We are not talking about occasional ministerial meetings. These are regular meetings of the six most powerful member states, at which ministers decide how they want to take forward EU policy on security, justice and home affairs. Parliament and the public, and other EU member states, have a right to be told in detail what has been decided."

Well, yes - I think so too. I would like to know what is being decided on by my government, and therefore in my name. Why all the secrecy? The next meeting is due to take place in October and it will be chaired by our present Home Secretary, John Reid - a man already accused of surrendering our home affairs policy to the tabloids - so perhaps we shall see a change if we shout loud enough.

Hopping over the fence to see what the other side is doing, we might easily be just as dissatisfied. Whilst some might claim Mr Cameron's touchy-feely type of politics may be working for him, and that is still very debatable, there is somewhat a void when we search for his policies. Some of those we do find are not exactly encouraging. He is backing Labour's academies (take the spin away and they are failures) whilst ditching grammar schools (selective they may be, but mighty successful too) which may not go down too well with quite a few in Middle England, and when it comes to crime his "lock-them-all-up" policy becomes confused by his recent "hug-a-hoodie" episode. Are we sure this man is in the right party? He might find he'd be more at home in the Lib-Dems, a place where being on both sides of the fence is quite often the norm!

Looking at politics is sometimes a bit like looking at a baboon, isn't it? 1. It all depends on your view. 2. It has more of an ugly backside than a pretty face.

See you next week . . .

"The Bitch!" 21/07/06.

About the Author

"The Bitch!", a weekly UK News Review column, is hosted by the author and columnist Michael Knell. These articles appear on the Blackpool Gay Directory website, but are not specifically gay in content. More information on the author: http://www.michaelknell.com and on the directory: http://www.astabgay.com.