I've had an eventful couple of weeks! I haven't known whether I was coming or going! The Forces Of Grey (ISBN: 1897312180) has been re-published (it had to be - sales of used copies were going for over $90 - and me not getting a penny!) and the latest book: The Elephant's Nest (ISBN: 1897312172) has been published - so you all go out and buy them now! - and then there was the trip to the dentist on the first Wednesday where I learned how stupid I was to imagine "dis" stood for discolouration and I would probably only be having a clean-up. I still don't know what it stands for, but there was a needle, a lot of drilling, filling, and ripping of the gums resulting in much blood and gore. Nevertheless I must be thankful - at least I have a dentist, there are many in the UK who can't indulge in such pleasure at any cost.
The haircut the next day was a high spot - a high before a low. That came on the Thursday evening when there was a major fire here in Blackpool - one too close for comfort to the Royal Mews. Sitting here bashing away at my next book: The Providence Of Pan, I was struggling to concentrate with the smoke billowing across my window and the noise of all the fire appliances and police vehicles invading the area. Unknown to me, until they turned off the electricity mid-typing, there was a mass evacuation going on. Thankfully my computers survived having their supplies so rudely interrupted, but I was forced to live like a savage with no power for nearly twenty-four hours before I discovered they were okay. However that wasn't the end of it. Following that - and with no warnings whatsoever - over the next week the power went on and off more times than a naughty girl's knickers, hence there was no Bitch column last week.
But talking of coming and going, I've found something that certainly puts my eventful life into perspective: the Marie Stopes International hosted event, organised along with the HIV/AIDS charity The Terrence Higgins Trust, that was expected to attract up to 200 people in Clerkenwell, central London, last week. In reality it only actually managed to muster around fifty participants. However with the winner raising more than £500 for charity it has been hailed a success and plans are already being made for another one next year.
The event was advertised as Europe's first "Masturbate-a-thon" - a sponsored masturbation session - and although it was all a bit of a publicity stunt we were told it was one which they hoped would raise awareness, get people talking about safer sex, masturbation, and help to lift taboos.
Really? Are there any taboos left? I wonder if they really had the time to talk about them? I mean, it was a kind of race, wasn't it? It wasn't exactly time that they had on their hands! And were there any drawbacks? Whoops! No, forget I mentioned that last one!
We're told similar events have been staged in San Francisco for the last six years where they have raised $25,000 (£13,000) for women's health initiatives and HIV prevention, so I guess we can only wish these ventures all good fortune.
When I first read of this event it was our dear departed friend, Kenny Everett, who immediately leapt into my mind: "But Michael! It's all done in the best possible taste!" I feel sure it is. Equally I feel sure that with this as a precedence there will be many a pub and club that will soon be looking to open a back room in a similar vein. Oh, well! It will save on the cost of a flight to Amsterdam, won't it? And anyway who wants to fly these days?
The massive disruption to air travel, and the critical terrorist alerts on both sides of the pond, may already have started to have serious repercussions over here - so we must all hope the intelligence is well-founded this time. Another mistake by the police would lose them any credibility they might still be retaining. Too many people have been affected; too many are talking about the situation for another error to have to be owned up to.
Richard Madeley of Richard & Judy fame - a normally innocuous afternoon television show - kept stressing on the Friday programme that a quarter of the Muslims in our country (24% to be accurate) are known to be sympathetic to the terrorists, and he repeatedly asked: what we were going to do about it? I feel it was a section of the show that could have been better done - and, I see, it is also a part of the show that was prominent by its absence on the part of the Channel 4 website dedicated to the day's programme.
I am totally convinced it was never Richard's intention to provoke anything more than healthy debate, but it came across awkwardly. To some, I fear, it might be seen as provocative - as an excuse for racial and religious hatred. Already there were fears that an overnight arson attack on a mosque in the north west of England might have been be linked with the alleged terrorist plans, so we do need to be extra careful with public dialogue when looking for or discussing solutions to the very serious troubles we endure. A few minutes on a light-hearted afternoon entertainment programme may not be the best place to air views on such matters. There is not the time, and perhaps not the expertise, to debate the subject properly, and too much might depend on just a few throwaway comments.
The fact that 24% of British Muslims are said to hate our guts is a serious issue, and one that must be addressed with some urgency. But unless we want the streets of Britain to resemble those of Afghanistan or Iraq, then we need to address it with the care and the importance it deserves. We are living in an age the likes of which we have not known before - not even during the two world wars - so the solutions to our problems may need to be as equally unprecedented. They may have to include the previously unthinkable - and perhaps we should not fear to go there. It needs a lot of debating.
However I believe any solutions that are sought must not further restrict the freedoms of the British people as a whole. There are many (especially from the indigenous population) who today feel they have become second class citizens in their own country. To go any further in this direction might prove to be extremely dangerous. The British people as a whole, a people now made up of many cultures, are still very much renowned for politely giving way. It is a trait that is often taken advantage of - especially by our governments - but we are also known to bend so far and then no further. There must be many of the opinion we have now reached that point - we have no more that we can give.
Enoch Powell made his famous 'Rivers of Blood' speech in Birmingham on the 20th April 1968. Had the terrorists been successful in murdering our people on such a massive scale with the alleged aircraft bombs then any day now we might easily have seen those rivers to which he alluded. At the time we didn't adopt Mr Powell's severe views on immigration, and many will agree rightly so for mostly he has been proved to be wrong. The multi-racial and multi-cultural society that we have become does, for the overwhelming number of us, work perfectly well. To be British today can mean to come from any of many different origins, and it matters not. However as much as we didn't adopt Enoch's policies, perhaps neither did we pay enough heed to some of his fears. And therein lies the problem.
Through some of the concessions we have made over the years to accommodate the cultures of those who have adopted our country, we have inadvertently allowed in a particularly dangerous type of extreme fundamentalism, one that has taken root. We have given too much leeway for fear of being seen as racist, and the enemy is now within. But we need to remember that our enemy is also the enemy of the 76% of British Muslims that don't hate our guts, for it would kill any of them and theirs as easily as it would any one of us - and it has done so. There is no benefit to be gained by apportioning any of the blame on this section of our society. What we have is of our own making, perhaps our own stupidity, so rather we should be urging and encouraging these people, and we must never forget they are British people, to get it sorted.
Realistically this 76% are the most likely ones with any hope of changing the views of that now substantial minority amongst them - a minority that will be made up of some of their friends and relatives and from which the terrorists whom we fear are being recruited. Should they fail to do this, and we don't all stand shoulder to shoulder as a nation united against acts of terrorism, then our future and perhaps the future of the whole of the western world doesn't bear thinking about.
This is a time for the people of the country to unite; a time for that British spirit to come to the forefront. It is not the time to split into factions. Fighting amongst ourselves will not stop one terrorist action.
Darlings, there will be no column next week - I shall be down south promoting my books - and in September the column may also be interrupted because THEY have finally caught up with me. I have to do jury service!
See you soon . . .
"The Bitch!" 12/08/06.
About the Author
"The Bitch!", a weekly UK News Review column, is hosted by the author and columnist Michael Knell. These articles appear on the Blackpool Gay Directory website, but are not specifically gay in content. More information on the author: http://www.michaelknell.com and on the directory: http://www.astabgay.com.